Busy for all the wrong reasons

Well, my life is kinda ass-backwards right now. At least this week.

Why you ask?

Well, I just moved, so there was that (I have a blog post about that in the can at home, where I currently have no internet thus cannot submit it), and then there has been some other commotion. It turns out it's actually kind of a pain in the ass to go about changing/updating your mailing address. Moreso than I recall it being last time I did it, 14 months ago.

So I've been running around trying to do that, getting stuff for mothers day, running other errands, setting up the new internet (which I hope to goodness will infact be installed and operational by 11am this friday as is scheduled), I'm now at school early because I needed to take care of something here, only to find out the office closed at 4pm (as opposed to 5 as I'd thought), so I have an hour to kill before my class tonight which itself ought to only last 15 or 20 mins. I have to rush home afterwards to get a shower, up early tomorrow to go to that office BEFORE work, then in to a meeting AT work, out for games after work, thursday night I have class, friday night I'll be out, saturday I don't even know what's going on but I'm sure *some* kind of nonsense will happen, and sunday I'm probably going to be helping a friend out with a film project.

So I'm busy doing lots of running around, errands, taking care of business, doing all kinds of stuff that doesn't pay. What am I NOT busy doing? working. Yes, my "full time contract position" has alright unofficially transitioned into part time. I'm basically looking at 5-6 hours a day of real work, if I'm lucky. I find it REALLY hard to get into a groove when all my tasks take just a few mins to complete and then I have to go bug my boss for more work. I REALLY don't approve of this. I want a steady workflow. I'd rather be TOO busy then not busy enough. It's partly my OCD/work ethic, and partly that I have bills to pay and school to save for.

I was planning to try to stay on as an employee part time after my contract ends, but it seems that may have come sooner than anticipated. I don't know what's going to happen. I haven't heard anything to the effect that I might be let go or that my services aren't as needed as they used to be, but I'm definitely not justified in being there for 8 hours right now. I almost want to take my chances going back to temp work, I mean, 4 months till school, why not, as long as it's consistently full time hours. That's really all I want.

And this is why I am going back to school full time. I'm intending to fast track my way to a degree and either by this time next year, if not the year after, be able to snag myself a "real" job in the field, making proper money and working steady hours. I feel that goal is mere inches out of my grasp. But I am gunning for it hard. I'm so incredibly tired of not being in control of my course/destiny, of having my fate lay in the hands of others. I'm a little leery about my current living situation, even though my new apartment and roommate are worlds better than the last one, the new roommate is still technically 'in control' and if they decide i'm not the right fit, well, like it or not, I'll be moving again sooner than I'd like. So if this isn't working out swimmingly in a year, I'll be potentially looking for a bachelor apartment for myself. I'm not TOO worried about that yet, but it's in the back of my mind.

Anyways... i'm just frustrated, but it's temporary. As I said, I know exactly what I want and how to get it, it's just going to require a bit of patience and maintaining my focus. Cause once I get to the next level, I'm never going to have to concern myself with this kind of crap again. Once I take control as I intend to, it won't even be a question of letting go.

Motivational speakers may seem really cheesy and lame, but there is something to what they say. You have to work for the things you want, and once you've earned them, no one can take them away from you.