June 27
well, as I suspected my sleep was not great last night, and this morning, barely an hour into work, I was just hurting bigtime trying to focus. I know there was no way I was going to get through another 6 hours at this rate. So I broke down and bought a redbull from the nearby food court, and drank a little less than half, and it amazes me the difference I feel. Normally in order for me to feel 'alert' and perky, I need to have something to focus on, or a problem to solve, something to get (and keep) the neurons firing. When I can't do that, regardless of how many hours sleep I got or what time of day it is, I get tired. I've been napping alot lately I think largely because I have no been able to keep myself usfficiently stimulated. I have noticed that sometimes I can stay awake far longer than normal, simply by keeping myself doing things that get the mental juices flowing. An energy drink is kind of like throwing gas into a mostly spent bed of embers in a firepit (in the absense of any available kindling), it gets things fired up again, temporarily, but long enough to get some heat and light to work with.
I don't like consuming articifial substances/mind altering substances, but in this case, it was necessary. I'm just curious how long this effect will last. I don't want to crash hardcore later (I have homework and studying to do) but we'll see. Maybe if I'm lucky when I get off work I can head home and get doing things that will keep me focused and perked, otherwise I may have to have another drink.
--------------------
It's been about 90 mins since I drank part of the energy drink, and my mind is quite alive and well, but it's funny because my eyes feel tired and sore, and I feel like I can almost sense my true tiredness merely obscrued behind a thin wall. I know it's there, but there's a barrier keeping it from crashing my party and bringing everything to a grinding half. It's a very strange feeling for me, but at least I am able to work. I feel like right now the only thing that would really truly get my neurons firing like I want them to is to go home and work on some music. But I have studying to do :(
-------------------
Just had to take my second 'hit' of energy drink for the day. it's just after 4pm and I could feel it wearing off and I was not keen on that. It seemed to last roughly 5 hours, so I have to be careful how much more I drink because I will need to be able to wind down for sleep 5-6 hours from now.
it's weird though, as I've just had a little more, it's as if I can actually feel my brain responding... if you've ever seen animations in TV/movies of how a human morphs into a werewolf, where their muscles bulge and their bones snap and expand... that's kind of what it feels like is happening in my brain. it;'s as if little explosions are working their way through my grey matter, lighting it all up. But at the same time now that I'm giving myself a second stimulus boost, it feels a little more jagged this time. Like when you're already tired and you get a headache, there's that extra aspect of discomfort, where it literally feels like gears are grinding in your brain when you try to think with any real effort.
But I have no choice... I have to at least get my homework done, if not also some studying. I have to. I won't be able to tomorrow, and I don't want to cram on wednesday night.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment